Men, as husbands and fathers, we are called to establish God’s peace in our households. But how do we do that?
Simple.
We look to Jesus and follow His example.
One day, Jesus was in a boat with His disciples. A terrible storm struck, but Jesus slept peacefully. The disciples were in a panic when they woke Him. Jesus responded with peace.
And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. –Mark 4:39
When Jesus spoke in the midst of the storm, the storm obeyed him and quieted. Amazingly, He gives us the same authority over the storms in our families’ lives.
Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. –John 14:12
When there is an emotional storm in my household, I am called to tell it to hush. My duty is to bring peace. I try to do that. Why do I so often fail?
My biggest failing in this regard is simple–I all too easily fall into the trap of believing calming the storm means controlling my family’s reactions to it. That tactic can’t work for one simple reason: They are not the storm.
Remember, when Jesus brought peace He spoke to the storm all around them–not to His disciples. As Jesus did, I must speak with authority over the circumstances to which family members are reacting. Once I establish that we are safe in Jesus’ arms then I can turn and help them address their fears.
When I quiet the storm, responding peacefully to whatever is going on, I create the space in which my whole family can grow quiet. The choice for peace is still theirs to make. However, without the pressure of the storm weighing on them, they are far more likely to find the peace we all need.
I recently helped teach both my eldest and my youngest daughter to drive. Dads, you all know that learning to drive can be a very emotional experience.
During one early outing, one of my daughters did something that confused another driver near her. As she grew more stressed, I reacted angrily and quite forcefully expressed my opinion that she should not handle the same situation that way ever again. She safely pulled over by the side of the road and cried for several minutes. Her confidence was badly shaken. It took some time for her to know she could deal with that sort of situation safely and well.
On several other occasions, one or another daughter has made a mistake that I thought could have resulted in an accident. When I responded calmly and with encouragement, the moment passed quickly. The next time she was in a similar situation she handled it beautifully.
When I helped them to focus on what it took to be a good driver, they relaxed and they drove with greater confidence. I spoke peace and they found peace.
When I encouraged them to worry about what it took to avoid being a bad driver I gave the storm power. They worried and drove anxiously.
Challenging circumstances come into our lives all the time. When I declare them to be dangerous or fearful I tell my family to expect defeat. I threaten to make the storm more powerful in their lives.
When I declare that a seeming giant is nothing in my eyes, I tell my family to expect victory. The storm dissipates.
Men, it may seem impossible, but the reality is that God promises we will overcome every storm the world throws at us. When we speak as Jesus would speak and when we act as Jesus would act, we are leading our families into God’s Kingdom reality. That reality is completely peaceful.
No amount of our demanding peace through controlling our families’ actions will bring it. Trying to compel my daughter to drive more safely through the force of my personality and voice actually slowed her development as a driver. Only His presence, expressed through walking in the authority He has given us to be Him to our families will bring the peace we crave.
Men, Jesus is our peace. Establishing peace in our household is ultimately about establishing that Jesus is the One we trust. We know He is the One who rules over our families. Our responsibility to establish peace is just another element of following Him.
At Kairos Academy Pathfinders, a key part of our calling is to help fathers to disciple their children. A true disciple of Christ lives in the knowledge that Jesus is the Prince of Peace.
Come join the adventure.